Cristina's Father
by ladyAddison
Summary: Great minds think alike. This is what Cristina's early years with her dad would have been like, had he lived for several more years. After he died, a part of her died with him. Later, its up to Burke to unlock her heart and help her to trust again.
1. Little Dr Yang

I think of this as what would've happened if Cristina's dad had died when she was old enough to remember him…

_ladyAddison_

Chapter 1

Cristina hated people. They were always so needy, asking for money, begging for something or another. Or else, they were so damned weird, appearing lighthearted and cheery to mask whatever crap lay within. And you never knew when they were going to die, leaving you to be raised by your eccentric mother. For the first several years of her life, Cristina's dad had been everything to her; then one day, he simply didn't come home from his private practice. Sudden death, they called it. Laughing and alive one day, cold as stone the next. Like she said, Cristina hated people.

_Cristina, Age 6_

"Subdural hematoma is caused by trauma to the brain, and squishes the brain stem so its hard to breathe, then you can have a coma, and possibly death," recited Cristina. "And an arterial aneurysm is due to widening of the vein, artery, or heart which could possibly rupture and cause death."

"Good girl!" her father Dr. Yang praised her. They were seated facing each other in his medical office, which was filled with vivid pictures of brain stems, cranial arteries, and various other parts of the body. Dr. Yang then swiveled 180 degrees to face a novice medical student. "Evans, even my six-year-old knows a hematoma from an aneurysm, get your facts straight, dammit!"

"Yessir." Evans, embarrassed, backed out of the spacious office.

Cristina considered herself a doctor already; as she was familiar with far more medical terminology than any other medical student, and she knew it. They were so stupid. Too bad the powers that be made her go to first grade at the local neighborhood school. For every hour she spent there, it seemed she was losing several brain cells. The place bored her stiff, she hated sharing, and did not play well with others. Her teachers regularly sent notes home saying she should be made to interact more with children her age, but her father laughed it off. He had been the same way when he was her age. Dr. Yang knew Cristina better than any of those idiots did. Furthermore, he treated her like an adult and included her in his work and conversations. He was her idol, her everything, her hero, her daddy.


	2. Fondest Childhood Memory

Chapter 2: Fondest Childhood Memory

_Cristina, age 10_

"Hey Cristina, know why your dad died?" a tall girl named Rochelle taunted. "You were such a rotten kid, he pro'ly spanked you so hard he got a heart attack!"

They were on the elementary school playground. The playground had a few lopsided metal swings, the standard see-saw, tire swing, and fake colored rock-climbing walls. Other children were present, but they knew more than their fair share of Rochelle; nobody came to Cristina's aid.

Rochelle the schoolyard bully and Cristina, the short spunky Asian girl. Cristina was, as usual, dressed all in black (she wore a Laura Ashley dress to school to escape her mother's wrath, then dove into her gym locker for her usual threads.) On a standard day, she wore a black t-shirt, black denim jeans, black socks, black-dyed sneakers, black rubber bracelets, black twine bracelets and dog collar, not to mention hastily applied black nail polish.

Cristina hated her dad right then. Hated her for leaving her when she needed him, hated him for all the teasing, and everything up to her life at this point. Her mother moved countless times after Dr. Yang died, and this was just another stop. In the past year, Cristina had moved to at least eight different towns and cities within the California area.

The kids at this school treated her like a freak. Ok, well, maybe wearing all black every day was a bit much, but the other kids weren't used to her biting personality. And it didn't help that she was the shortest girl in the class. Things just weren't going very well.

So she did what she did best—fight back, just like her dad taught her. Cristina punched the girl in the stomach, so hard that Rochelle lost her balance and fell onto her knees breathless and winded. Another punch landed squarely on Rochelle's eye, which blossomed into a large blue-black bruise.

Of course, Cristina landed in the principal's office. But she got off relatively easy, with a detention and a half-hour with the school shrink. She claimed Rochelle had used brute force, and all of the other witnesses (classmates) agreed in unison. Rochelle was placed on temporary probation for two weeks, and forced to serve detention for nearly a month.

Her mother was livid, "HOW could you act so _unladylike_ Cristina! My own daughter! Whatever did I do to deserve this punishment?" but Cristina was used to this. She buried her head in her hands, and pretended to cry in earnest. When that didn't work, she told her mother Rochelle had initiated the fight and sent death threats her way. Within a week, Rochelle was kicked out of Rockwood Elementary.

From then on, nobody at Rockwood School messed with Cristina. Rumors spread that she had murdered her father with a pickax, others said she glared at him so hard his eyeballs fell out of his head.

_Cristina, Intern at Seattle Grace_

"You certainly look happy," a groggy Meredith spoke to Cristina over a cup of coffee.

"Oh, I was just thinking about my fondest childhood memory," Cristina mused absentmindedly.


	3. Saul Meets Yang

Chapter 3: Rubenstein

_Cristina, age 14_

"Cristina, there's somebody I would like for you to meet" Mrs. Yang cheerily gestured to the man standing in the doorway. "Saul Rubenstein."

Cristina made her way down the stairs, feeling a strange sense of foreboding, arriving at the front of the room where her mother and her current boyfriend were standing. Upon seeing her dad's replacement, Cristina was about to run off to her bedroom again when her mother grabbed hold of her in what seemed like a motherly gesture. Cristina knew better. She took the crumpled ten-dollar bill from her mother's hand and faked a smile. "Pleased to meet you, Dr. Rubenstein," she muttered with clenched teeth.

"Oh, call me Saul. And wonderful to finally meet you! Your mother tells me you held a prestigious junior internship at the renowned teaching hospital?"

"Yes."

But despite awkward beginnings, it was the start of a beautiful father-daughter relationship. Or more like one with a father-figure; Cristina never considered Saul her dad's replacement, even if Saul had won the $100,000 Lasker Award three years in a row. Even so, Cristina had an unusually high regard (or borderline obsession, depending on one's point of view) for highly educated medical professionals which would stay with her up to her residency.


	4. Keyed

Chapter 4: Keyed

(Note: Yang and Burke's conversation is changed somewhat)

_Cristina, Age 15_

It had been a couple of months since her mother and Saul had been dating. A couple of short months, and already Cristina could tell things were becoming very serious between the two. They were holding hands, going out to fancy restaurants, and having movie dates all the freaking time. Her mother seemed oblivious to everything around her, and acted twenty times more annoying despite it all. Cristina was ambivalent about this.

On one hand, Cristina loved learning about Shabbat and how to make potato latkes and kugel.

At the same time, she also remembered dancing on her dad's feet at age three to Mary Chapin Carpenter tunes. Carpenter tunes were a mix of country/rock—its lyrics were mainly about heartache and wives leaving deadbeat husbands, but then again, her father had been known for his quirky tastes. She and her father both. She could recall one Thanksgiving where her mother was too sick to cook the dinner. Her father performed a mock-lobotomy on the turkey, demonstrated a running whip-stitch, and proceeded to label and describe all the innards.

Cristina rose out of bed and headed downstairs for her usual breakfast—a slice of toast, unbuttered, with a cup of dark coffee on the side. It was a Saturday morning, so her mother was likely scouring the malls for discounts and Saul was probably on rounds.

She yawned as she made her way downstairs, her bare feet squeaking softly on the hardwood floor. But something made her stop. On the way to the kitchen table, something golden and glittering caught her eye. It was on the mahogany table feet away from the front entrance. Cristina picked it up.

It was a key. A house key. To _this _house. And it had Saul Rubenstein's name inscribed on it.

_Cristina, intern at Seattle Grace_

"Burke, what is this?" Cristina picked up the gold-colored key, using her fingers as forceps.

"It's a key." Burke calmly sipped his espresso and scanned the headlines of the newspaper he was holding.

Cristina sighed in annoyance. "Yes, I _know_ it's a key. Why is it here?"

"You know why."

"No, I _don't _know why."

"Think of it as moving forward in our relationship, Cristina, its no big deal."

"No _big deal_???" Cristina sputtered. "I have a relationship with you, spend some nights with you, hunky-dory, happy-happy, and this is what I get?"

"Cristina. Its. Just. A. Key." Burke swept a strand of hair from Cristina's forehead and kissed her. "Anyways, I have to go, mandatory attendings' meetings. I'll see you tonight." He departed, leaving Cristina standing in the kitchen.

"No _big deal_???"


	5. Mara Lise

Chapter 5: Mara

_Cristina, age 16_

It was weird, but Cristina felt most at home when she was at the hospital. For once, people didn't look so happy, and everything was chaotic, yet organized in some mysterious way. She held summer internships there, and Saul allowed her to follow him when he went on rounds. And now her sibling was about to be born here.

Cristina was not overly fond of children, nor did she hate them. They were okay, as long as they looked cute, did not puke or crap on her, and did not act bratty. She was seated outside her mother's private hospital room, her legs swinging back and forth touching the linoleum floor. Saul was already there, holding her mother's hand.

Just then, a young intern entered, with a peculiar expression on her face; she closed the door, needing to tell Cristina's mom and Saul something very important. The doors were soundproof, but there was a sliver of a window. From what Cristina could make out, her mother started to sob loudly, and Saul started gesturing frantically.

Cristina was concerned, but nobody would tell her what was happening—even when she tried to bribe two attendings and a physician. Since whatever being told to her parents was not being told to her, she grew less worried.

Instead, her mind was focused on her future brother or sister. If it were a boy, she wanted him named Ben; if it was a girl, she wanted the name Mara Lise. Personally, she wanted a younger brother so she would not get stuck playing Barbie and easy-bake oven. Cristina already spent the earlier part of her childhood decapitating Barbies.

A half-hour, then an hour, then two hours ticked by. Cristina wondered why nobody was coming outside to tell her anything, and why several doctors kept going in and out. Nobody would let her in either—the obstetrician firmly refused, but he looked at her as if he felt sorry for her. The window sliver was covered by doctors' coats, so she had no idea what was happening. Cristina began to feel invisible after a while, with everyone rushing about and ignoring her very presence.

But nearly three hours later, Saul came out to talk to Cristina.

"Cristina, you have a baby sister." Saul's eyes were bright red though, he looked subdued and very much unlike his usual self. Cristina instantly sensed something was wrong—very wrong.

"Saul, what aren't you telling me?" Cristina anxiously asked.

"She—your" Saul choked up. "Your sister has anencephaly."

Cristina was full of medical knowledge, but this particular illness escaped her memory. "Anencephaly? 'An' means lack of, 'ceph' deals with—the—" And then she understood what Saul was telling her.

Saul nodded slowly. "Cristina, her brain is missing. She only has hours to live."


	6. HalfSister

Chapter 6: The Half-Sister

_Meredith, age 27_

Meredith was trying to think of what she had in common with her father Thatcher, to whom she had been estranged. He was clumsy, socially inept, stammered constantly, and was unable to string together a coherent sentence. Her father was unlike her.

Except, unbeknownst to her, she didn't even have _that _in common. Thatcher Grey was not her father—Saul Rubenstein was.

_Ellis Grey, Twenty-six years ago, Seattle, Washington_

It was eight in the morning, and Ellis was woken up by the sound of Saul Rubenstein's snoring. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes; the whole bed seemed to vibrate more with each snore, and she could barely suppress a laugh, despite the horrifying mess of it all.

Ellis was to be married to Thatcher next week, and she was in bed with a man who was decidedly not her fiancé. To be more exact, it was one of her many one-night stands from Emerald City Bar. Except, this one was different—she knew who he was, and was aware that he had feelings for her. Ellis silently reprimanded herself; she knew better than to sleep with a man who was emotionally attached to her. She supposed the Long Island iced teas might have impaired her usually sound judgment. And what was worse, she forgot to take her birth control pills.

She knew Saul from work—the handsome man with the pale blue eyes, who had a slight tendency to be overemotional. Still, she was engaged to Thatcher, a safe sort of man, with a loving heart and stable income, enough to support a family. Saul, in contrast, was a new attending, and Ellis had no idea what his morals and character were like.

………….

_Ellis Grey, one month later_

"I'm pregnant."

Saul hugged her; he and Ellis were leaning on a side of an isolated hallway in Seattle Grace Hospital. Ellis would not look at him. "Congratulations, I'm thrilled!"

Ellis did not know what to do just then, Saul looked so happy at the idea of becoming a father. His grandparents were long gone, and his parents never played a large role in his life. It was his biggest dream to have a family he could call his own; Ellis knew that what she was about to say would devastate him completely. "But I'm getting an abortion." Saul's face fell, and his eyes began to tear.

At Seattle Grace, Ellis never wore her wedding ring, and she knew the baby was not Thatcher's. The honeymoon was boring, and Thatcher, apart from his wealth, had nothing to offer her. Sure, Thatcher was caring and sweet, but Ellis needed passion. Trouble is, the passion led to undesired consequences.

"Don't you want a baby, Ellis? I thought you of all people, loved children," Saul asked, his voice low. He gazed at her, as if in question.

"Yes," her voice trembled. "Yes, for God's sake, of course I want a child." She looked pleadingly into his eyes. "I want a child more than anything in the world, but this was not supposed to happen. I wanted a child with Thatcher, not you." With that, she walked off. Saul stood still for several minutes, attempting to digest all that had just happened.

_Ellis Grey, Eight months later_

Interestingly enough, Ellis did _not _have an abortion. She told Thatcher she was pregnant, the circumstances of which he did not question—despite the fact that there was _no way in hell_ he was the father. Strangely enough.

Meanwhile, Saul was a physician at a California hospital. He was so distraught after hearing Ellis would have an abortion, that he quit being an attending at Seattle Grace that same week. Saul wanted a family so much, but knew he could not dwell on that which he could never change. He fled Seattle Grace for an affiliated sister hospital in California, working alongside a certain brain specialist by the name of Dr. Yang.

And so, at precisely 8:13:40 am on a snowy December 23, Meredith Grey was born at Seattle Grace Hospital.


End file.
